Can a Narcissist Change After They See How Badly They Have Hurt You?

Oh they definitely change…but not for the better.

Ellen M. Lerner
2 min readFeb 10, 2024
Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

Once they see how badly they have hurt you, you will see an almost euphoric high…or that “smirk” so many of us have witnessed.

The only change you will see is a truly terrifying one…

Usually, when a person hurts another person, without the intention to do so, or even during an argument in the heat of the moment, there is some sort of remorse. Wishing they could take back what they said, because even a good person can make a mistake…hurt someone, in my experience, hardly ever on purpose…it still hurts, but if someone means something to you, you will do everything in your power to make it right…thinking (more than likely…) “how can I make this better…?”

However, all a narcissist is thinking is…

“Did I say the worst possible thing to make them suffer? To utterly and completely destroy them …Maybe I can come up with something even better! Something more sinister…more insidious….hmmm…let me think about this one for a minute….”

The only “change” you will see is a person who you once believed had some humanity inside of them. You come to realize (to your horror) that this person will stop at nothing until they have destroyed you. And they will not stop until you no longer allow it.

Photo via meta



Ellen M. Lerner

My name is Ellen. I am a Composer. A Pianist and Vocalist. A Student. A Writer and most of all...I'm a Survivor.