Do you regret ever defending a narcissist?

No…because I never defended one!

Once I realized what I was dealing with, defending them was the anthesis of what I did….I called them out. I asked them Why? (Not that I ever got an answer…) I condemned them, never once defended them…

Now, there were others who did not see what I saw at the time. There were many excuses, many assumptions as to why they were behaving in this manner…but I wasn't buying it and there were many battles…even with my own Mom, because she simply could only see the good in people and could not conceive of what so many still refuse to face…

Eventually, one by one, people caught on. My Mother was the very last. Right before she got extremely sick I heard her screaming at my nex on the phone (and it was a rare thing for my Mother to scream…) this is what I can remember….

‘Why are you doing this to her? All these years? What did she ever do wrong to you? We treated you like family…long after the divorce and you never appreciated one God da*n thing! Look what you have done to your child! What is wrong with you? What do you want from us? What do you want from her?’

I sat in my room shaking. Partially because it was a long time coming and it felt good to have my favorite person stand up for me, but at the same time, I did not want her to know what he was. She truly believed all people were good. In that moment she realized he was pure evil and part of me honestly would have preferred her never knowing…

She died soon after. I hate that my Mother died hating him. I hate that my Mom had hate inside of her at all, because that was not what she was about. It took close to twenty years…she finally understood.
So back to your question….I have no regrets because I never defended a narcissist. I have not known very many, but the ones I had the unfortunate luck to come to know, I did not let them off easy. It made it so much harder, but I simply could not handle it any other way. I'm a big believer in justice…and more than that…karma.

It's real and it's happening as we speak. Or so I hear….