How are narcissistic tendencies recognized?
When I started to really pay attention to people with narcissistic personality disorder, one of the biggest red flags was a huge sense of entitlement or a grandiose sense of self-importance, leading them to feel superior to most.
They believe that only others who are just as special as they are can truly understand them, and those are the people they want to be surrounded by.
In order to maintain feelings of superiority, they will resort to belittling others by focusing on their flaws—whether they’re real or imagined.
For narcissists, this is an effective way to hide their own shortcomings and preserve their self-image. And they can not even do this in a quiet manner…while they are looking in their mirror, they are reminding you of how unattractive most people actually are….
A narcissist’s sense of superiority is unrealistic.
Narcissists will believe: They are unusually special…Better than others..Only other special people can understand them…They deserve the very best…They should only associate with people and things with high status.
Why it occurs
Grandiosity (pretentious self-importance) develops in people with narcissism to cope with very strong insecurity and low self-esteem. Specifically, an inflated sense of self helps them avoid these deeply rooted negative and painful feelings.
These are feelings they have had throughout their entire lives and what better way to cover it up than to behave in the total and complete opposite way…but once you see the mask slip it’s extremely easy to tell the difference between a person who is simply proud of their achievements and a huge, overinflated amount of pretentious grandiosity.
Require Constant Praise.
Despite how outwardly confident narcissists may portray themselves to be, they are actually incredibly insecure and have very fragile self-esteem.
In order to continually prop themselves up, people with NPD require near-constant praise and admiration.
They also expect to be recognized as quite superior even without achievements that warrant it in the slightest.
Also, any comments that shine a spotlight on their deepest insecurities or flaws may be met with a burst of ‘narcissistic rage,’ causing the person to lie or divert the conversation in an entirely different direction.
Lying is paramount for narcissists. They certainly seem to have a knack for it, and they do it quite well and very often. At times, even when there is no need in the slightest….
Feeling entitled is enormous to a pwNPD.
Because they are constantly behind a mask, they have no real identity so they never really see others, instead, they view other people as extensions of themselves and only existing to serve them in some way.
Why it occurs.
Narcissists view themselves as special and different than others. This notion means they believe they deserve what they want, when they want it.
How it manifests.
A narcissist’s needs will always come first over everyone else’s, even their own children. This sign can therefore manifest in many ways, such as expecting special favors and expecting others to comply with their expectations without question.
What happens when someone refuses to comply with a narcissist’s demands? Nothing good. When others don’t comply with their wishes or expect something in return, a narcissist may react with anger, aggression, or even violence.
Narcissists can not identify with others. They believe that they are above everyone. This sense entitlement also manifests in the following tell-tale sign of NPD...
They believe all people are solely there to serve their needs. This tainted view directly leads to exploitation.
Importantly, this exploitation can be either malicious or, more commonly, because they simply do not consider how their behavior affects anyone else. When it’s pointed out, they cannot empathize.
How it manifests.
There are many ways in which a narcissist may exploit others. For instance, they may use intimidation, bullying, or demeaning behavior. They additionally may use deception and emotional manipulation to get others to do what they want.
Narcissists can operate in different ways to get what they want, which means narcissistic manipulation can be either positive or negative, depending on the situation.
Envy is another big one for Narcissists.
Narcissists may feel envious of others because they believe they deserve what others have but when others achieve success or accomplishments and they cannot, it serves as a reminder of what they lack and can’t actually achieve.
The accomplishments of others then threaten their sense of grandiosity. They must keep adjusting that mask…A narcissist may also believe that others are envious of them because they live in a fantasy with a grandiose sense of self.
Narcissists are compelled to compensate for all of their shortcomings and self doubt. Constant failure in themselves. This compulsion often leads them to redirect negative appraisals onto others to avoid seeing themselves in the appraisal.
In other words, narcissists lack self awareness. So, they feel good about themselves when they put down others and focus on the flaws of others—even if they don’t exist.
How it manifests.
Narcissists often project their negative feelings onto others to avoid feeling them themselves. They may accuse friends and family members of not putting them first, being selfish, being unsupportive, or being mentally ill.
While narcissists project themselves as important and superior, their behavior all stems from one core trait….
A narcissist is simply unable to face who and what they truly are. They have gotten so good at portraying the part of the guy/girl who has it all together…but it couldn’t be more opposite.
They live in a world of self loathing and despair but because they can not face themselves and their many issues, therapy is extremely rare, (or next to impossible) because they do not see a problem.
Which is why at the end of the day the ones who suffer the most are the ones who must put up with them. It is a hell on earth that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy and if you are able to get away, I highly recommend doing so as soon as possible because where a life with a narcissist is concerned, there is nowhere to go but down.