How Important is Trust in Relationships?

I believe that trust is the single most important aspect of a relationship and I will tell you why I know this…

My parents married later in life. My Dad had already made up his mind long ago that he was never going to get married. My Grandparents were not very pleased about this, because they loved him very much and they did not want him to be alone.

My Mom always wanted to get married but she didn't think it was ever going to happen.

They were actually introduced by their dentist! (I always wished I had gotten the chance to meet him and thank him…)

For the life of me I can't figure out what this man saw that made him feel they would be perfect for one another…they were different in every way…the original odd couple!

On their very first date, my Dad's plans changed in an instant. He knew he was going to marry my Mom. Sometimes that is how it happens…you have a plan, you are certain of it, and someone comes along and changes everything…

My Dad grew up seeing a beautiful marriage. My grandparents adored one another. I grew up seeing a beautiful marriage as well…however, my Mom had a difficult childhood and as much as she wanted to be married, she was scared to death because she thought like most things in her life it would wind up being a disaster.

They got engaged after a long courtship but my Mom was still very frightened. She actually broke up with my Dad for a time due to her fear. My Father was devastated.

My amazing Aunt (his older sister) actually went to my Mom's work and sat with her and convinced her to get back together with him. She assured my Mom that he would always be good to her, never ever hurt her and he would always love her. She loved him very much but her fear made her doubtful that there was such a thing as a truly happy marriage…she told my Aunt she needed a little time to think.

She thought about this for a while and I remember I was fairly young when she told me the story. I asked her…’so what finally made you change your mind?’

She said during that time she was thinking she realized something very important…though she loved her family, she never felt safe. It was something she never experienced but she started really thinking about my Dad and what kind of man he was. She realized though they really were drastically different, they had one vital thing in common….they had the exact same values. And then she started realizing the way he made her feel.

She turned to me when I asked her that question and she replied…’I decided he was the only man I would ever marry because I realized I trusted him with my life!’

I remember thinking about that at different times throughout my life. I have trusted people, but trust them with my life? I never had that much faith in anyone…that is not a small thing when you really think about it and I feel it is quite rare….

Had she not felt so strongly about him, his devotion and character more than likely she would not have ever gotten married but because her instincts about him were so strong, they got married. August 31 1969 Woodstock.

So the question is how important is trust in a relationship….well…at least where my parents were concerned (especially my Mother) it was the very thing that made her absolutely certain that there simply was no better person on earth than my Dad.

And true to form he kept his promise. He loved her with all his heart. He would have died for her and I understood in that moment just how important trust really is…if not for this overwhelming certainty, the fact that she truly believed she could trust him with her life, I wouldn't be here today telling you this story.

I realize how very rare it is…to trust someone with your life but she did and I grew up watching a real life love affair because of it.

Trust is everything. There simply is nothing more important.