How Narcissistic Mothers Sabotage Their Daughters

Nothing really happened ‘gracefully’ where these women were concerned

Ellen M. Lerner
2 min readFeb 22, 2024
Photo by Unsplash

I knew a woman who either was a pwNPD or had some other cluster B disorder and it was almost as if she was in competition with her beautiful teenage daughter.

What’s interesting though is that she did not break her daughter, for the most part. The daughter became a bit colder…standoffish at times, but because her grandparents basically raised her, she had a fighting chance. Speaking of fighting…she actually fought back. The more her Mother pushed, the more she pushed back.

Her Mother often bragged about her achievements to others, but rarely validated or acknowledged her personally. She was well-liked and important to others, but controlling and harsh when no one was looking.

She did many other things that must have affected the daughter to some degree, but again, these actions did not destroy her, and for the life of me, I'm not sure how….

She made her feel guilty by boasting about how much she did for her, though was harshly opinionated at home but put up a front for people…even ones she disliked.

She also seemed to be in competition with her, especially where vanity was involved, wearing almost the exact same clothing, which was terribly inappropriate and many times being sly but boasting to people how she looked just as good if not better than her daughter.

Vanity was an enormous issue, and aging gracefully was never going to happen.

Nothing really happened ‘gracefully’ where this woman was concerned, and though I said it did not break her daughter, the story doesn't have a happy ending, but when speaking of narcissistic Mothers or any pwNPD, I've yet to hear of a “fairytale ending…” — sadly where narcissism is concerned — that's just not the way it goes.



Ellen M. Lerner

My name is Ellen. I am a Composer. A Pianist and Vocalist. A Student. A Writer and most of all...I'm a Survivor.