How can you live with someone aggressive, bossy and slightly narcissistic, without the badness of that person affecting you? Especially if it’s your father?

Ellen M. Lerner
2 min readSep 27, 2021

I am quite possibly the last person on earth to answer this question, but I am answering it for a reason…

To start with…I adored my Father. He was my most favorite person. I can not imagine having a Father who was abusive, aggressive, bossy, slightly narcissistic, or anything other than inspiring, supportive, loving, honest and real.

I do not know your age, your circumstances, or if you have the ability to separate yourself from him, but I would suggest that you do.

As painful as it will be, if this is truly who he is, and especially if he has always been consistent with his behavior, I see no other choice.

If you are under age and simply can not leave, I would distance yourself as much as possible, say very little, try not to fight back and most important…not listen to the negative things he says to you.

As hard as that will be, you have to realize, even with your own family, abuse is abuse and it is simply unacceptable.

And last, try and learn from this experience and instead of allowing it to break your spirit... Break the cycle. Stop this pattern. And when it is your turn to be a Dad…be the best damn Dad in the whole wide world.

You may have not had a special bond with your Father and that’s not fair and it’s terrible, but you can still have very deep connections with other special people.

Be the Dad he never was. Teach your children all of the things he never taught you.

It was a very hard lesson, but if you learn the lesson and realize you can literally change your story and your history, you will not just be making a huge and positive change in your own life, you will be changing the life of your children and that is precisely how we change the world!



Ellen M. Lerner

My name is Ellen. I am a Composer. A Pianist and Vocalist. A Student. A Writer and most of all...I'm a Survivor.