LIN..I am in tears. I am so sorry. I can feel your pain. I too am going through something I have yet to express in words. I have been mourning the loss of someone who I too considered 'my sister.' I have about 10 different drafts and that's usually not how it goes down for me (as a writer.) I do not know why the universe would do such a thing to you...many things..unspeakable things. That man should be behind bars. However, the pain you feel from the betrayal of your 'friend' is almost worse..in a way, am I right? Because you loved her. And I understand. You have once again given me strength and inspiration to say what I have been unable to say with words, (something very foreign for me.) I have tried to contact you several times. I'm not sure if you have received any of my messages or emails. Please check your spam folder? I don't know if you've seen any of my other comments to you on here. Please try and get in touch with me. There is much to say. I don't know how you're still standing after these events...but you are still standing, nonetheless...and that's all that really matters to me. You are brave. And you are beautiful. Love, Ellen xo