Ellen M. Lerner
2 min readMar 27, 2022

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What is the Best Way to Respond to the Silent Treatment?

Try and realize, while this experience is not pleasant, you are going to learn something invaluable and it's going to change everything….

I am not just speaking of ‘the silent treatment’ (ghosting) where a narcissist is concerned, I am speaking in general, because there are some very immature, uncaring people out there who will use this childish tactic as well…and you have to know what you will gain from this experience.

Some would say…’give them the silent treatment right back’ but by this point they no longer care, so they probably wouldn't even notice.

Where narcissism is concerned, it is very difficult because you are left with many unanswered questions and you desperately want to know why and how could a person do such a thing…

But in regular life, where there wasn't necessarily abuse, just a person who out of the clear blue sky seems extremely busy all of a sudden, who has no time for you, and though there wasn't some knock down, drag out fight, something is very different…

A normal person would try and call, or text. Personally, if it was someone really important, I would probably sit down and write a letter, but if you have tried everything you can think of, instead of making up excuses (they have a really hard job, they must be going through something, etc.) if they do not respond…remember this…

No response IS a response!

Yes, you will feel sad for a while. And confused, as well as anger but if you recognize your worth, you will stop putting any bit of your energy into a person who not only doesn't care, but doesn't deserve you.

You have faith that in time you will meet people who give as much as you give. And when you are down, they lift you up, and you in turn do the same. That the thought of losing you would be a very sad thought, and they would never run that risk.

I know it’s easier said than done and you will be sad for a while…but if you have a strong sense of self and know your worth, you will walk away. No nasty texts, no screaming insane messages on their voice-mail…you take it all in, try and digest it, realize this was not your fault, and keep on going with your life and eventually…you will find the right people who would never dream of letting you go. They might be rare…but trust me…they’re out there.

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Ellen M. Lerner

My name is Ellen. I am a Composer. A Pianist and Vocalist. A Student. A Writer and most of all...I'm a Survivor.