Why do narcissists make good spies, stalkers, and snitches?

Ellen M. Lerner
2 min readOct 19, 2021

If they were handing out jobs for narcissists, these three would be a perfect match!


They were trained since birth for this job.

They are always watching…listening very closely. They are gathering information to use against you later. Though narcissists are notorious for having terrible memories, where your important and valuable information is concerned, their minds are like a steal vault.

They remember every tiny detail, just to use against you when the timing is just right. Spies watch every nuance and hear things that to most would be quite Insignificant…but they manage to use it to their advantage at some point, and they do it quite well.


Because everything is projection where a narcissist is concerned, they assume you are doing all of the seedy things that more than likely they themselves are doing and they need proof.

And after the discard, all the while with a new supply, many still like to keep tabs on the washed up, useless partners they had once upon a time.

They seem to know your whereabouts better than radar. They are two steps ahead of you, and usually, you haven’t a clue.


This brings me back to the inevitable smear campaign.

It seems as if they are ‘snitching' on their former partners, but it is never the truth.

Certainly not the whole truth. Little bits and pieces of reality mixed in with unfounded, ridiculous lies but to anyone who will listen, they make it seem as if they are sharing your dirty little secrets when all the while, more than likely you have done absolutely nothing wrong, but because they are so talented in this particular area, they will make it seem as if they are ‘telling’ on you.

All of your ‘bad deeds’…your bad behavior…the very reason they had to leave you because you were simply too difficult to put up with.

Telling secrets is bad enough…telling lies to make others think the absolute worst about you is another talent they all seem to possess, and yet it’s ironic, isn’t it…such talent where insidious tactics are concerned yet so many can not even hold down a job.

As I originally said….if they were handing out jobs just for narcissists, where these three traits are concerned they would flourish and thrive unlike their real lives where they are barely functioning.



Ellen M. Lerner

My name is Ellen. I am a Composer. A Pianist and Vocalist. A Student. A Writer and most of all...I'm a Survivor.