Why Don’t All Narcissists Cheat on Their Spouses?

I like this question a lot because many people are convinced that every pwNPD cheats and that is simply not true.

When I have tried to explain my story to those who were not there while it was happening, they do not believe me and tell me I am ‘kidding myself’….but this man had a plan. He somehow knew what was a ’deal breaker’ for me.

On top of that, I truly was his prime target. For charming as well as torturing.

If he had it his way, he would have stayed forever. Why not? It was a very good deal. I paid the bills. Bought the house. The cars. Gave him my time and attention. Didn’t expect very much from him. My Mom was always there helping out…especially with our son. He did not have to do one single thing. Except torture me to the point I was certain I was going insane.

People still are not convinced.

He called me many times throughout the day while he was at work (he actually had a real job for a little while…) he was home at 5pm on the dot. The phone never rang at odd hours. He never left for some errand and did not return. I could have looked at his phone whenever I wanted…I felt no need.

When we were in public he hardly ever even looked at other women…if anything I would find myself saying to him…’Isn’t she beautiful? Or ‘I love her dress…’ and he would agree usually and it would end there.

I think in my case this man had bigger fish to fry. I was the main source and his main target. Tearing me down and making me a shell of myself was his mission. And He succeeded for a time.

Perhaps I am wrong. Perhaps there were a laundry list of women but I honestly don’t think so and I believe I remember exactly how it all went down. Once I ended it he immediately had a new supply but I feel the same thing happened with the next one.

Not everything is textbook. I know some think it is, but though there are some major red flags and obvious patterns where true Narcissism is concerned, things do not always add up or make sense. Nothing is black and white. Though they might not try to destroy you in each and every way that another person may have experienced, they all still try to destroy you in the end.

The most insidious ones of all know where to hit you where it hurts. Infidelity wouldn’t have destroyed me….he knew exactly what would be the unthinkable to do to me and that is precisely what he did.