Why, even though I know my narcissist is a broken sick person, does it feel like he’s living better than me now that it’s over? And although I’m free, I feel this terrible sense of something missing.

Ellen M. Lerner
2 min readOct 18, 2021

Something IS missing!

Let’s take him out of the equation for a minute. You were left with much less than what you started with.

You more than likely feel like a shell of yourself right now. You feel this way because that is exactly what you are.

You will need time, distance and reflection to heal. It will not happen overnight.

You may very well feel as if what is missing is him or the idea of him…YOU are missing!

You must hold on tight and remember all of the things you liked about yourself before you gave him the power to take all of that away.

You are missing and I completely understand. You will be angry, confused, sad, remorseful, and for about a minute you might just want to rewrite history.

Do NOT give him a chance to ever again make you feel “less than.” That’s already happened. It’s in the past. HE is your past. He has now become a lesson. A cautionary tale.

You now have to choose how you will come out better from all of this.

We must never go backwards. Especially if all that is awaiting us is a reminder of our time in the ninth circle of hell because that is exactly what it is. It is a hell on earth that I am hoping somehow I can prevent.

If that means I have to seem a bit tough or “harsh" I can live with it. What I can not live with is one more good person destroyed over a person like this.

You were just handed a gift. You have been handed a second chance. Please make this time count. Don’t ever look back. Please contact me if you ever need to.



Ellen M. Lerner

My name is Ellen. I am a Composer. A Pianist and Vocalist. A Student. A Writer and most of all...I'm a Survivor.