Why is there some wierd comfort when they Hoover? Although its only short lived.

It is very easy to explain…

Though it doesn’t last long, for a moment you feel as if you have finally met the man of your dreams. The man who will stick by your side through thick and thin. The man you are going to grow old with. Sit on the porch swing and watch your grandchildren play….

That’s exactly how I felt…for a little while.

Of course it is comforting to feel as if someone understands you. Loves you unconditionally.

But as I said it did not last long and as our wedding was approaching I already knew something was wrong…I just didn’t know what.

He was saying all the right things, doing all the right things…infact, he said something (possibly as a last ditch effort to keep me from leaving that rendered me speechless…)

I had heard from a few men throughout my young life…’No one will ever love you as much as I do!’ I realize this is a pretty common line, but what he said to me has stayed with me after being divorced over ten years now. He said the absolute opposite of what I had gotten pretty used to hearing…he said…

‘I could tell you that no one on earth will ever love you more than I do, but that isn’t true. Many men would love you…fall head over heels for you. Why wouldn’t they? I just got very lucky that you picked me.’

Those were his exact words. I’ll never forget them. Mainly because I will never know if somewhere down in his twisted soul he actually meant it, or yet another lie on top of many lies that had yet to be seen…

When they are lovebombing you, you feel all is right with the world. You found your other half. Your soul mate. As I said, it didn’t last long and if I had only listened to my Aunt on the day of our wedding after I confessed something was very wrong…I just knew it. She told me to ‘get my dog, get in my truck, and drive away.’
I don’t have many regrets in my life, but not listening to her…that is the single biggest regret of my life.

So as you said though short lived, why this odd comfort?

It’s so easy to explain if you have ever experienced this. I don’t know any normal couple who loves all the same things. The same foods, movies, music, artists. You can still love someone very much, yet not love each and every thing exactly the same, but that’s what he made me believe.

There are still genuine people out there who might just fall in love with you, and there is usually a honeymoon period, but it isn’t oddly coincidental. There should always be a (kind) difference of opinion. You don’t have to love everything the same in order to have a beautiful life with someone. I think it is just as important to celebrate the similarities as well as celebrate the differences…that’s how you learn…

Unfortunately, all I learned was a lesson I never knew I would ever have to learn. About a con man, a criminal, an uncaring creature, and a flat out liar.

If something seems too good to be true, it probably is.